Guest Blogger: Richard LedesmaSo here it is Freedom to Marry Week…neighbor.
We are Richard and Jeffrey, two men in a loving committed relationship since September 6, 2002. We have two dogs, a nice apartment in New Jersey, a car with monthly insurance payments. We have electric, gas, cable, and cell phone bills. We shop at our local supermarket and visit the same doctor for the past three years. We recycle, clean our sidewalk, and respect our environment. We maintain diverse full time jobs and pay our taxes. We have suffered the death of both of our mothers and one of our fathers in the past couple of years.
We are just like you and your spouse except for one thing. Richard and Jeffrey cannot marry. We are not entitled to bereavement leave from work if our partner dies. We are not entitled to draw the Social Security of the deceased partner, or to automatically inherit a shared home, assets, or personal items in the absence of a will. We are not covered by laws and policies that permit people to take medical leave to care for a sick spouse or for the kids. We are not considered next of kin for the purposes of hospital visitation and emergency medical decisions. We cannot file joint tax returns and are excluded from tax benefits and claims specific to marriage. In addition, we are denied the right to transfer property to one another and pool the family's resources without adverse tax consequences. Richard and Jeffrey are not entitled, covered, or considered on alot of things that you are…
What we do have are neighbors that only see Richard and Jeffrey, two men in a loving committed relationship.
Richard and Jeffrey are your neighbors but cannot marry. Why, I thought we were just like you.
***Richard Ledesma is the Office Manager at Freedom To Marry. Jeffrey Thomas-Ledesma is a Hyperbaric and Wound Care Technician at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center. They live in New Jersey and are originally from Miami, FL and Ft. Payne, AL respectively.
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2 comments:
"Richard and Jeffrey are your neighbors but cannot marry. Why, I thought we were just like you."
Richard & Jeffrey are my actual neighbors. They live upstairs from me and my husband & we feel so enormously grateful to have them in our lives. We want them--and every person--to have the same opportunity that we've had to become legally married.
We love you guys for all that you are & more: generous friends, tremendous home cooks, devoted pug-parents, Madonna-enthusiasts/late night dancers (okay, that's last one's just Richard).
We support you & are so proud to be your neighbors.
I'm an Aerican living in The Netherlands for the nearly 8 years now. I myself am a lesbian, so this country, in many ways, is a sort of utopia for me. My partner and i live a very quit, normal life--we get along with our neighbors, are both productive members of the community, etc.
What really bothers me about the gay marriage debate in the U.S. is that homosexuals are pretty much dehumanized by so-called "religious" people, who seem to think that being gay is a choice.
Funny that straight people can be such experts on homosexuals, that they tell us it's a "lifestyle choice".
If i were to follow the same logic, then i could only conclude that being straight is a choice as well.
That demeans the struggle that all homosexual people in America go through, myself included, when we accept the fact that we are born this way, we are different, and being gay in America is very difficult ( though i think gay men have a much more difficult time with it than lesbians do ).
And as for the "ruining marriage" garbage...that point is moot---
firstly, we mainly don't have the right to marry there ( save for two states ) ;
secondly, someone forgot to tell straight people to stop having affairs and divorcing at a truely sickening rate.
THAT ruins the sanctity of marriage.
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